Episode Details

How do you recognize danger when danger was normal growing up? How do you receive love when the love you knew was conditional? And how do you know when you're making a decision from healing versus guilt and people pleasing?

These questions all come back to the same place: your relationship with yourself.

In this episode, I’m talking about what it really takes to rebuild trust with yourself after the mother wound taught you to ignore your feelings, abandon your needs and trade pieces of yourself for love, connection and approval.

Because healing your mother wound isn't really about your mother. At some point, we have to deal with how we've learned to treat ourselves.

We’re also getting into something I’m realizing in my own healing right now: real healing requires infrastructure. It’s not enough to understand your trauma. You have to build a life that can actually support the woman you're becoming.

In this episode:

• Why safety and love can be difficult to recognize after growing up with conditional love
  • Learning what different emotions actually feel like in your body
  • Why you have to become safe and trustworthy to yourself first
  • How people pleasing can become another form of self-abandonment
  • The difference between knowing about healing and actually building your life around it
  • Why new experiences, community, support and self-soothing matter
  • Taking accountability for the ways you continue to abandon yourself
  • Building an internal structure strong enough to support who you're becoming

You can't keep asking other people to give you the safety, love and validation that you refuse to give yourself.

At some point, you have to decide: I'm going to take care of me before I sacrifice me to keep everybody else comfortable.

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