Episode Details

What if being kinder to yourself doesn't make you less ambitious — but helps you work, recover and live more sustainably?

In this episode of People Soup, I talk to Dr Amanda Super, an occupational and coaching psychologist, author and founder of Creating Compassion. Amanda specialises in self-compassion and compassionate leadership, working with organisations across the public, private and not-for-profit sectors.

Amanda's own journey into this work is fascinating.

At 19, she had flunked her A-levels and was struggling with her confidence. Psychological support helped change the trajectory of her life. Years later, when she became seriously unwell and needed major surgery, a nurse pointed out something Amanda hadn't recognised herself:

"You're being very hard on yourself."

That moment led Amanda to discover self-compassion — and ultimately changed both her personal life and professional direction.

In our conversation, we explore:

• What self-compassion actually means — and what it doesn't mean
• Why we're often caught between threat and drive, with too little access to recovery and soothing
• How workplace culture can reinforce perfectionism, productivity and the pressure to keep going
• The three elements of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity and self-kindness
• Whether it's possible to be ambitious and self-compassionate at the same time
• How self-compassion can help us develop healthier boundaries
• What Amanda means by fierce self-compassion
• The costs of constantly criticising ourselves
• Amanda's practical RAIN exercise for difficult moments
• Why recovery is productive
• And why self-compassion might simply give us permission to include ourselves as well as everybody else.

There's also a lovely conversation about Amanda's choice of walk-on music, Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles — a song that reminds her of her grandmother and represents the movement from darkness towards warmth, hope and light.

A practical idea from Amanda

When you notice you're having a strong emotional response to something, pause and ask:

What do I need right now?

Amanda also introduces RAIN:

R — Recognise what's happening

A — Allow the feeling to be present

I — Investigate what's triggered the response

N — Natural awareness

And then, in Amanda's self-compassionate version:

Recognise that anyone would find this difficult, and ask,

How can I be kind to myself right now?

She also leaves us with a simple reminder, recovery can be productive.

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• Connect with Amanda on LinkedIn
• About Amanda's book - "A Year of Self-Compassion: Finding Care, Connection and Calm in Our Challenging Times"
• Amanda's website

Here's the People Soup Website.

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