Episode Details

Losing a Sister and Learning to Live With Loss with Lila Glasoe Francese

Episode 175 Published 1 month ago

Description

When Lila Glasoe Francese’s sister Carolyn was diagnosed with glioblastoma in 2015, life changed quickly. Carolyn underwent surgeries and a trial treatment before dying 13 months later at just 46 years old, leaving behind a seven-year-old son and a family learning how to live with an enormous loss.

In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly, Lila joins death doula and funeral celebrant Jill McClennen for a conversation about what grief actually looks like over time, not as something we simply move through and leave behind, but as something that continues to become part of our lives.

Lila shares what it was like to lose her sister, help raise Carolyn’s son, and redefine what family looked like alongside her husband and brother-in-law. Now, a decade after Carolyn’s death, grief can still appear unexpectedly through milestones, memories, scents, songs, and other reminders that bring the past immediately into the present.

Jill and Lila also talk about our culture’s discomfort with sadness and the pressure people can feel to be “okay” after loss. They explore why we need more honest conversations about illness, dying, caregiving, and grief and the importance of finding the people who are willing to show up and help when life becomes overwhelming.

Writing became one of the ways Lila processed her own experience. What began with journaling eventually grew into her books, The Situation: A Radical Journey Through Sisterhood and Life Amplified: The Search for Resilience After Loss. Sharing her story also opened the door for other people to share losses they had been carrying, demonstrating how storytelling can create connections around experiences that are often kept private.

The conversation also explores legacy, community, family, and what loss can teach us about the things we spend our lives accumulating compared with the people and relationships that ultimately matter most.

At the heart of this episode is something Jill has learned through many conversations with guests over the years: grief doesn’t simply end. We learn how to carry what we’ve lost while continuing to live, love, connect, and make meaning in the life that is still here.

00:00 Grief Changes You

01:51 Meet Lila and Her Story

02:27 Glioblastoma and Writing Through Loss

06:44 Sharing Stories Heals

11:00 Triggers and Sense Memories

15:17 Milestones Without Her

19:21 Redefining Family After Loss

23:05 Find the Helpers

26:58 Honest End of Life Talk

36:49 Living Fully and Letting Go

37:22 Stuff vs People

42:51 Books and Closing Thoughts