Episode Details

Why do we sometimes know exactly what we should do—and still don’t do it?

In this episode of Thought Atlas, I sit down with Billy Seol, a Buddhist life coach and former software engineer who has worked at companies including Apple, Disney, and Foursquare. After studying computer science at Cornell and spending years working in software, Billy began exploring a very different kind of engineering: understanding the patterns that shape human behavior.

Billy describes his own transformation as moving from being a very sad, angry, and judgmental person to someone who still experiences difficult emotions but no longer suffers from them in the same way. His work now combines life coaching, Buddhist philosophy, and systems thinking to examine patterns such as procrastination, shame, overthinking, and difficulty creating lasting change.

Our conversation begins with a question about what studying human behavior revealed that software engineering could not. Billy explains why being deeply immersed in a situation can make it difficult to see the experience from another perspective, using everyday experiences such as work, deadlines, and stress to illustrate the idea.

We then dive into procrastination.

Billy challenges the idea that procrastination is simply laziness or a bad habit. While he acknowledges that procrastination can be habitual, he argues that there can be more happening underneath the behavior. Sometimes, he says, the issue is that we don’t actually understand what we’re doing, don’t know how to do it reliably, or haven’t figured out how to consistently apply ourselves.

That leads to a bigger question: why is there such a gap between understanding something and actually taking action?

Billy uses the example of imagining a lemon to explore how the mind can respond to imagined experiences, and we examine why intellectual understanding alone may not automatically produce behavioral change.

The conversation then moves into Billy’s relationship with Buddhism. He explains that he grew up Catholic, later became interested in science and moved away from religion, and eventually encountered Buddhism during a difficult period in his life. He describes meeting a Buddhist teacher whose approach he found practical and pragmatic.

We also explore shame and why it can reinforce the very behaviors people are trying to escape. Billy discusses the ways people can become trapped in judgments about themselves and how repeated patterns can begin to feel like fixed parts of who they are.

Another major theme is karma—not simply as a religious concept, but as Billy’s way of describing recurring patterns and the mechanisms through which our actions and tendencies reinforce one another.

Billy has written more than 1,300 essays, and we discuss the recurring patterns he has observed through his work with people. He connects these observations to questions about suffering, attachment, free will, past conditioning, and personal responsibility.

Toward the end, we explore a particularly fundamental question: how much of who we become is determined by things we didn’t consciously choose, and how much can we actually change?

Billy argues that while we cannot change the past, there are things within our present control. He encourages a shift away from seeing ourselves as powerless toward recognizing where we have influence.

And then comes his final food for thought:

“Who am I?”

Billy suggests that although the question is simple, it may be one of the most important questions we can ask.

Listeners who want to explore Billy’s work, his writing, coaching, and other resources can connect with him through his official website, July Life Coach. His site also provides access to his books and other material. (July Life Coach