Episode Details

The measure of a man isn't what he says he'll do under fire. It's what he actually does when the bullets start flying.

Benjamin Lee spent his career as an EOD technician, defusing bombs on the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan. He came home with PTSD, an opioid addiction that started with a legitimate prescription after surgery, and no idea who he was without the uniform. He rebuilt himself more than once — including through a rock bottom that involved real suicidal ideation he doesn't sugarcoat — and now runs the Initiation Source, coaching men through the same process using a framework he calls the Reforge Protocol.

In this conversation we explore inner transformation through the lens of a man trained to disarm the most dangerous devices imaginable, who had to learn to disarm himself — what war actually teaches about the measure of a man, the difference between acute and chronic PTSD, the two false identities (war hero, then wounded veteran) he had to let die before he could rebuild, and the Reforge Protocol itself: reveal, examine, face, offload, reclaim, grieve, embody. We also get into Jungian shadow work, why nervous system regulation is the real first step of any of it, and what he calls "the waiting room" — the foggy, directionless space between who you were and who you're becoming.

This is a conversation about learning to defuse yourself with the same discipline it takes to defuse a bomb — one wire at a time.

If this conversation moved something in you, a rating or review helps more men find this work. Martin's book, The Weary Traveller's Guide to a Life Worth Living, is available now.