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🎙️ Episode 31: AuDHD Experience — A Working Model of Emotions

"Emotions are our integrated experience of our body's response to our understanding of ourselves in our context."

Summary:
This week Aaron shares a working model for understanding emotions, developed with alexithymia and interoceptive differences in the neurodivergent community in mind. He defines emotion as combining cognitive appraisal (our understanding of self and context) with the body's physiological response, drawing on Darwin's survival-of-the-fittest framework extended to a "survive then thrive" lens.

Aaron distinguishes challenge from threat, then walks through the activated spectrum of emotions using a real-world example from his own neighbourhood, St Kilda: fight (anger), flight (fear/anxiety), freeze, and fawn, explaining the physiological and attentional shifts behind each — heart rate, digestion, muscle tension, and narrowing focus. He extends the model into flop (depression, underpinned by hopelessness) and touches on disgust as a slower-threat, memory-enhancing response distinct from the acute threat responses.

He then turns to positive and deactivated states — calm, contentment, boredom, and the activated positives of excitement, interest, curiosity, and play — showing how these emerge once safety is established and how they support learning and thriving rather than mere survival. Aaron closes with practical questions listeners can use to identify their own emotions when interoception is limited, such as noticing expectations, direction of movement (towards or away), activation level, and sense of agency.

Key Themes & Takeaways:

• Emotion as appraisal plus body response – emotions reflect both our understanding of self-in-context and our body's activation (or non-activation) in response
• Challenge vs threat – the same event can trigger different emotions depending on our perceived resources relative to the demand
• The activated spectrum – fight, flight, freeze, and fawn each reflect a different appraisal of available resources to manage a threat
• Flop and hopelessness – depression's low-arousal presentation is framed as a response to perceived hopelessness about safety
• Disgust as a distinct response – slower-threat, memory-enhancing, and less about urgent escape
• Thriving states – curiosity, interest, and play are framed as extensions available once safety is established
• Practical self-reflection tool – simple questions (expectation, direction, activation, agency) can help identify emotions without relying on interoceptive cues

Referenced Concepts:

• Alexithymia and interoception
• Schema theory and internal working models
• Darwin's theory of natural selection
• Fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop responses
• Disgust and contamination-avoidance
• Kelly McGonigal's TED talk on stress reappraisal

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast