Episode Details

Is it okay for your partner to be friends with an ex — or is anxious attachment the one really asking the question?

In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble sits down for a live, unscripted coaching call with her client Kaitlin, who came in wondering whether her partner should be allowed to stay friends with his ex. As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear the real issue has little to do with the ex at all, and everything to do with hidden conversations, a canceled wedding, and Kaitlin's own anxious preoccupation with fixing what's wrong between them. Jenn walks Kaitlin through the difference between requests and boundaries, why an avoidant partner's fear of engulfment isn't the same as not loving someone, and how to stop outsourcing her security onto a man who can't give her what she needs. It's a raw, real look at what it actually takes to become the secure one in the relationship.

You might want to listen if:

• You're wondering if it's okay for your partner to stay friends with an ex
• You find yourself preoccupied with tracking your partner's every move
• You keep asking "why is he doing this" instead of "what do I want"
• You're dating or partnered with someone avoidant and don't understand the pullback
• You struggle to set boundaries without it turning into controlling his behavior

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• 🎯 Schedule your FREE 30-min Attachment Assessment with Jenn — see if the Fall 2026 Cohort is the right fit for you
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DISCLAIMER:  Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...