Episode Details

What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath?

You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives.

Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective responses—and why healing begins by getting curious about what those patterns are trying to tell us.

You’ll learn:

*How trauma can show up in ways we may not immediately recognize

*Why people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-sufficiency can become protective patterns

*How family and community wounds can shape us across generations

*Why minimizing your pain can keep you disconnected from what needs care

*The role of lament in bringing your real emotions before God

*Why healing rarely happens alone

*How small steps, safe people, and God’s presence can help create lasting change

Healing doesn’t require you to minimize what happened or convince yourself that someone else had it worse.

It begins with noticing what is true, allowing God into the places that hurt, and taking one small step toward connection.

More Resources:

With every purchase of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, you’ll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.”

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

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