Episode Details
Back to EpisodesWhy Your Cognitive Load Is So Hard to Put Down
Description
You can look fine on the outside and still feel like your brain is running a thousand tabs in the background. I’m talking about cognitive load: the remembering, anticipating, noticing, double checking, and quietly carrying the responsibility for outcomes at home and at work. And here’s the harder truth: sometimes the load feels so heavy not because you have too much to do, but because you’ve become the person who holds it all.
I tease apart why “mental load” doesn’t capture the full picture, and why two women with the same life logistics can experience wildly different pressure. We go into the emotional weight attached to tasks, the identity rewards of being the competent fixer, and the way hypervigilance becomes a dominant brain habit after decades of practice. If you’ve ever thought, “If I don’t manage this, everything will fall apart,” you’ll recognise exactly how safety can get tangled up with control.
We also talk about the “ANTs” that drive overload: automatic negative thoughts that spiral from a small mistake into fear, shame, and worst-case stories. From there, we look at how perfectionism and constant auditing can accidentally train the people around you to stop noticing, leaving you with even more mental ownership. The shift isn’t lowering every standard, it’s learning which balls are glass, which ones are plastic, and what it would mean about you if you didn’t carry it.
If you’re ready to loosen the grip without losing your edge, hit play, then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so this reaches the women who need it most.
The Balance & Beyond Podcast Hosted by Jo Stone, founder of The Balance Institute
For women who are already succeeding, but beginning to wonder if they're willing to keep losing themselves in the process.
We know high achievers, because we are one. This podcast draws on Jo's 20 years in global leadership and thousands of hours coaching executives and ambitious women: the patterns she sees, how to untangle them, and what it actually takes to keep your success without paying for it with yourself.
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