Episode Details

Strong relationships are not built simply by having the right advice or knowing exactly what to say. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is listen. Kelly Balarie explores the wisdom of James 1:19 and the importance of becoming a thoughtful listener instead of rushing to conclusions.

It can be easy to hear only part of someone's words and fill in the gaps with our own assumptions. But truly listening requires patience. It means slowing down long enough to understand not only what someone is saying, but also what may be beneath their words and what they may genuinely need from us.

Highlights

• Why jumping to conclusions can damage communication
• What it means to be “quick to hear” and “slow to speak”
• How assumptions can keep us from truly understanding others
• Three things to listen for: what is being said, what may be beneath the words, and what the person may need
• Why the right words can still hurt when delivered with the wrong tone or timing
• How being slow to anger helps create space for understanding
• Why seeking to understand is more powerful than simply trying to prove a point

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Full Transcript Below:

One Tip to Forge Strong Relationships
By Kelly Balarie

Bible Reading:
“Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]…” – James 1:19 AMPC

I heard the first half of what she said, “Mom, I really don’t want to…because…”. 

But what I didn’t hear was everything after she spoke the word “because”. All that?  Her words were muffled. I entirely missed the last part of everything she said.

So, I just filled in the gap with my own conclusion. And my conclusion was not positive. I figured the worst.

“Mom, that’s not even what I am saying,” she said. “You’re not even listening. You’re getting it all wrong; I didn’t even say that.”

She was right; I jumped to conclusions.

Ever been there? Maybe I’m not alone. Sometimes it is easy to fill in blanks with our own thoughts. It’s hard to endure gaps, waits, and the unknown. It i