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The Dark Humor That Saved My Life in the Psych Ward
Description
In this episode of Stories and Stanza, host Abhra sits down with Robert Rickelmann for an unflinching conversation about a life shaped by mental illness and addiction. Robert grew up with crippling anxiety — and discovered early on that alcohol made him feel fearless, confident, and finally comfortable in his own skin. That relief came at a devastating cost.
What began as a coping mechanism consumed his law school career, his sense of self, and nearly his life. In 1996, Robert made a major suicide attempt that landed him in a psychiatric hospital for a month, where he was diagnosed as Seriously Mentally Ill — carrying diagnoses of generalized anxiety disorder, severe depression, OCD, and borderline personality disorder. The years that followed brought repeated hospitalizations, a long and grueling journey through medications, and immeasurable strain on his marriage.
Through it all, Robert scribbled notes on scraps of paper — in psych wards, in dark moments, in the margins of a life he was trying to hold together. Those fragments became a memoir. After years of rejections from agents and publishers, he signed with Apprentice House Publishing, releasing Jumping Off the End on May 5, 2025 — timed deliberately with Mental Health Awareness Month.
This conversation covers the seductive lie of alcohol as self-medication, the stigma men face when seeking help, dark humor as a survival tool, the invisible weight carried by caregivers, and what it means to be sober since January 10, 2013.
Robert's book is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Jumping-End-Lifetime-Struggle-Alcoholism/dp/1627206604/
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