Episode Details

In this episode, I sit down with my brother Ryan Liston for a conversation about values, specifically honesty, respect, and responsibility. Ryan shares how leaving religion left him without a value-maker and how he stood on the stairs at BYU one day and realized he had no answer for why he should be honest. We talk about how values are nuanced and subjective, how withholding truth can sometimes be loving, and how responsibility shifts depending on your role. Ryan's framework for respect comes down to two things: admiring people just for being people, and doing as little harm as possible. We discuss assuming innocence and good intentions first, choosing empowering stories over disempowering ones, and how not agreeing with everyone is actually essential to growth. Ryan's takeaway: we all have a choice, and that choice can be guided by the world we want to help create.

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Chapters:

00:00 — Introduction & Ryan's Background
 01:30 — Why Ryan Had to Rebuild His Values From Scratch
 04:00 — Standing on the Stairs at BYU: Why Should I Be Honest?
 06:00 — Values as a Guide to the World You Want to Live In
 08:30 — Be the Change: Honesty and Trust in Society
 09:00 — Is Withholding Truth Ever Okay? The Nuance of Honesty
 11:30 — The Deer Story: A Real Example of Compassionate Dishonesty
 13:30 — Values Are Nuanced Because They're Subjective
 15:00 — Responsibility: Does It Change When You Leave Religion?
 18:00 — The Etymology of Responsible: Accountability and Obligation
 19:30 — How Do We Respect Each Other When We Disagree?
 21:00 — Two Definitions of Respect and What They Mean
 24:00 — You Don't Have to Agree to Respect Someone
 26:30 — Most People Are Aiming for the Same Goal
 29:00 — Claiming Your Agency: The Hat and the Pledge of Allegiance
 32:00 — Letting People Choose Without Running Away
 34:30 — Assume Innocence and Good Intentions First
 37:00 — The Friend Who Chose Compassion Over Road Rage
 39:00 — Closing Thoughts: We All Have a Choice