Episode Details
Back to Episodes#187: Autism Is Not A Tragedy with Cari Ebert (Keynote from 2026 Preschool Autism Summit)
Description
"Don't buy him letters." That's what a professional told Cari Ebert when her son Aaron was two. He was "obsessed," they said, and needed to be moved toward more appropriate play.
Cari ignored them. Those letters were how Aaron showed joy, and how she connected with him. Nearly two decades later, that same deep interest in letters, numbers, and dates is what landed him a job he loves.
That moment is the heart of today's episode, because it's exactly what happens when we treat autism as a journey instead of a tragedy.
This is Cari's keynote from this year's Preschool Autism Summit. She brings two lenses to it: 30+ years as a pediatric SLP, and 21 years as mom to her autistic son. Together they make a case that so much of what we were taught to fear, grieve, and "fix" was never the problem. The problem was the language, the linear milestones, and the compliance-first thinking we inherited.
Cari walks us through Aaron's whole story, from spelling words before he could speak, to teaching himself to tie his shoes at 20, to reading bedtime stories to his baby nephew. Along the way she gives us a clearer, kinder way to talk to families and a real shift in how we show up for autistic children.
We'll talk about:
- why the child is exactly the same the day after a diagnosis, and it's the adults who need to shift
- the power of first messages, and how "red flags" teach families to fear a diagnosis
- deficit-based language versus affirming, neutral, strengths-based language
- what autism is not, and what it actually is
- the spiky, non-linear developmental profile
- reframing the spectrum into a support-needs profile
- honoring autistic joy as the doorway to connection and learning
Because we don't get to decide where an autistic child's journey ends. Our job is to keep believing there's more ahead.
In This Episode, You'll Learn
- Why autism is a journey, n