Episode Details

We hear phrases like “listen to your body,” “get out of your head,” and “be present” all the time. They sound simple, but what happens when you actually try to do them and realize you have no idea how?

That’s where we’re going in Episode 14 of Becoming the Sanctuary.

Last week, in The Body Remembers Everything, we explored what our bodies carry through every chapter of our lives, not only difficult experiences, but also safety, connection, comfort, movement, love, and joy. This week, we’re taking the next step and asking: If the body has been carrying us all along, how do we actually come back to it?

Because it’s one thing to tell someone to listen to their body. It’s another thing entirely to know what you’re listening for.

I know this personally because my mind is very comfortable being in charge. I analyze, plan, predict, organize, problem-solve, replay conversations, and imagine possibilities. Give me one decision and I can mentally travel ten steps down five different paths before I’ve taken the first one.

Our minds are extraordinary, and this episode isn’t about making them the enemy. Thinking, imagining, planning, and problem-solving help us navigate our lives. The challenge comes when thought becomes the only place we’re living.

Sometimes we’re physically present while mentally somewhere completely different. We sit with someone we love while thinking about tomorrow. We finally have time to rest while mentally organizing everything we need to do next. Meanwhile, we may not notice we’re holding our breath, clenching our jaw, carrying tension in our shoulders, ignoring hunger, or pushing through exhaustion.

We can become incredibly practiced at overriding ourselves.

And then someone says, “Return to your body.”

Okay…but how?

That’s something I really wanted to acknowledge in this episode: reconnecting with the body can actually be hard. Embodiment is sometimes presented as though we close our eyes, take a deep breath, and immediately enter a peaceful state of presence. For many of us, that isn’t what happens.

Sometimes stillness makes the mind louder. Sometimes focusing on breathing makes us wonder whether we’re doing it correctly. Sometimes movement brings up comparison instead of connection. Sometimes we’re asked what we’re feeling in our body and the most truthful answer is, “I honestly have no idea.”

We need to make room for that answer.

Returning to the body isn’t another wellness practice to master. It’s a relationship, and relationships take time to build. Maybe we start by making it simpler. Instead of immediately asking what something means, we notice what’s happening: tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, hunger, restlessness, exhaustion, warmth, ease, or a change in our breathing.

What if listening begins before understanding?

Breath can become one doorway back. We don’t need a complicated technique to notice the breath we’re already taking. Are you holding it? Is it shallow? Does it change when you’re overwhelmed? Sometimes the breath doesn’t need to change how we feel. It simply reminds us where we are.

Movement can be another doorway. We often treat movement as something that has to accomplish something, to exercise, become stronger, become more flexible, or change our bodies. But movement doesn’t always need an outcome.

It can be stretching after sitting too long, rolling your shoulders, walking outside, dancing in the kitchen, changing positions, or practicing yoga. This has become especially meaningful to me as I deepen my own relationship with yoga. For a long time, comparison and my lack of flexibility helped keep me away from something I felt drawn toward.

But what changes when movement stops being about how the body looks and becomes about how the body feels? What if the question isn’t, “Am I doing this correctly?” but, “What am I experiencing while I’m doing this?”