Episode Details

What do boys crave from fathers and male role models? Whether you are a dad looking to build a safer relationship with your son, a teenager navigating these struggles right now, or an adult who grew up "under-fathered," this episode offers a recipe for creating emotional connection and safety to talk about sexual topics.

Father-son relationships have a profound impact on sexual recovery because emotional disconnection, conditional praise, and neglect (the "carbon monoxide of childhood trauma") create a sense of emptiness that pornography promises to fill.

What we cover in this episode: 

• Conditional vs. Unconditional Praise: Why boys desperately need validation for who they are, not just what they achieve (and how to praise the process over the results).
• Flipping the Script on "The Sex Talk": Why a single, painful 100-minute lecture doesn't work, and how to implement 100 one-minute conversations driven by curiosity and zero shame.
• Entering Your Child's World: The impact of quantity time and simply showing up for the things your kids love—even if it's a video game you're terrible at.
• Emotional Literacy as a Shield: How naming and processing emotions prevents them from becoming sexualized, featuring practical tools like The Feelings Game.
• Hope for the Under-Fathered: How to experience "re-fathering" and "re-parenting" through God, community, and safe men.

Resources Mentioned in this episode:

• Having the Talks - card deck by Dear Young Married Couple
• The Feeling Wheel - pillow (or create your own "feelings game")
• Healing Weekend - Join us in Utah for an unforgettable re-fathering experience. Learn more and apply now at https://www.husbandmaterial.com/utah

Click here to send us a voicemail. We will reply!

Are you looking for licensed professional counselor who specializes in working with teens? Email Blake Brinkman at redefinestudentrecovery@gmail.com

Watch the video of this episode at youtube.com/@StartYounger

Buy the book Outgrow Porn at outgrowporn.com or Amazon.