Episode Details

Pat’s recovery did not arrive as one tidy awakening. It unfolded through hard-won amends, fatherhood, sponsorship, 25 years of meetings, and a trip to Akron he finally bought as a gift to himself.

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Pat, sober since September 17, 1981, gives a raw, funny, deeply personal AA talk about growing up in a multigenerational alcoholic home, carrying childhood trauma, and becoming convinced he would not live past 20. Alcohol and drugs shaped nearly every decision until a final morning of desperation led him to ask God for help, enter a psychiatric ward, go through detox and treatment, and reach Alcoholics Anonymous. Pat admits that he initially stayed sober while making up his own rules and waiting for everyone around him to change. Over time, the Steps, sponsorship, fatherhood, amends, and acceptance began changing him instead. He describes the final amends that helped him forgive his dying father, learning to love his sons without trying to control them, and discovering a God he could reach without borrowing anyone else’s definition. For his 25th sobriety anniversary, Pat canceled a large party and bought himself something he had almost never allowed: a gift just for him. That gift was a trip to Akron, where Dr. Bob’s home, grave, and hospital chapel turned AA history into a personal spiritual experience. His message is that recovery kept unfolding long after the first year.

Pat L. from Saskatoon, SK, speaking at the Nipawin Roundup in Nipawin, SK, Canada - December 2, 2006
Music: Deep by KaizanBlu