Episode Details

**SHOW NOTES**

Why does sex become more difficult the more we care about someone? In this conversation, I sit down with psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle to unpack the psychology behind performance anxiety, modern sexual culture, and why so many men feel pressure to perform instead of connect.

We explore how stress, distraction, shame, relationship dynamics, and unrealistic expectations affect intimacy, along with practical ways to build healthier communication, confidence, and connection in the bedroom. Whether you're navigating anxiety around sex or simply want a deeper understanding of intimacy, this conversation offers practical insights grounded in both science and clinical experience.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 – Introducing Kate Moyle

00:20 – What a Psychosexual Therapist Does

02:56 – Is Modern Sexual Culture Broken?

05:52 – Performance vs Presence in Sex

08:13 – Why Anxiety Shows Up During Intimacy

11:08 – Changing Gender Roles and Sexual Expectations

13:46 – The Biopsychosocial Model Explained

15:04 – Everyday Stressors That Affect Sex

18:29 – Creating the Conditions for Great Sex

22:06 – Porn, Media and Unrealistic Expectations

26:13 – Why Communication Is Essential for Great Sex

29:57 – Attunement Over Performance

31:30 – Pleasure vs Performance

35:57 – Understanding Unreliable Erections

38:29 – The Psychology of Performance Anxiety

46:41 – Breaking the Anxiety Cycle

53:35 – Addressing Shame Around Sexual Performance

56:52 – Masculinity, Potency and Self-Worth

59:26 – When Relationship Issues Affect Intimacy

01:03:13 – Where to Find Kate Moyle

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