Episode Details

David welcomes Brandon Boyd to The Lighter Side of the Spectrum for a father-to-father conversation about parenting a disabled child, grieving the imagined version of parenthood, and learning to truly see and delight in the child in front of you. Brandon shares Ben’s early missed milestones, a devastating and discouraging specialist visit in Denver around age one, and Ben’s later autism diagnosis at age two, describing years of being hyper-focused on “fixing” through therapies and fearing a lack of connection without speech. A pivotal McDonald’s moment helped Brandon become present, shift from hypervigilance to curiosity, and bond through Ben’s interests like the garage door, beads, swinging, and water, including a customized backyard pool. They discuss supporting Ben’s neurotypical brother Ethan, isolation among disability dads, and processing grief. Brandon describes Ben’s communication via signs, an iPad with LAMP, and recent spontaneous spelling, and explains why he wrote Delighting in Ben, now available on Amazon and Audible.

The book ‘Delighting in Ben’: https://a.co/d/0bA4O0pE

Topics

00:46 Fatherhood Grief

01:35 Meet Brandon and Ben

04:08 Early Signs and Specialists

05:51 Denver Diagnosis Shock

09:45 Fixing Mode Years

13:57 McDonalds Turning Point

17:52 Loving What Ben Loves

21:53 Pool Bonding Breakthrough

24:55 Balancing Ethan Too

28:34 Isolation and Processing

32:36 Family Gathering Stress

33:50 Communication Tools Update

35:08 Spelling Breakthrough

36:45 Aging Out and Empower

37:59 Exploring S2C Options

39:40 Puberty and Meltdowns

42:32 Stone Communication Journey

45:07 Why Write the Book

50:07 Hardest Chapters to Relive

53:05 Ben Joy and Growth

53:56 Tip of the Week

56:04 Autism Fact or Fiction

58:19 Parent Confession Segment

01:02:07 Book Plug and Farewell