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39 The Real, Radical, and Resounding Differences Between Shame and Guilt

Episode 39 Published 5 years, 5 months ago
Description
  1. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.  This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving.  
    1. Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 39, released on October 26, 2020 and it is the third episode in our series on shame.  
    2. and it is titled: The Real, Radical, and Resounding Differences Between Shame and Guilt.  
      1. Two episode ago, in episode 37, we introduced shame as the silent killer who stalks us from within.  
      2. Last episode, episode 38, I invited you to see the signs of shame in yourself and others, to recognize shame in ourselves and in others, becoming better able to detect it.     
        1. That's important, because shame pulls us to allow our shame to remain hidden, unobserved, unrecognized for what it is.  
        2. Shame is tricky, it's slippery, it loves to camouflage itself. 
      3. Encourage you to listen to those last two episodes, very rich, RCCD community members discussing listening multiple times, really working on understanding.  
    3. Now that we have a much better understanding of shame from the last two episodes, we are going to take the next step.
       
      1. This episode will stand alone, I will give you the context.  

      1. Today, in Episode 39.  We are going to understand much more deeply the difference between shame and guilt. 
        1. Many people use them interchangeably they don't recognize a difference.  I feel bad with both of them because something is wrong.
           
          1. Shame vs. Guilt  Distinction.  I asked about this in intake evaluations.  

          1. Five negative emotions.  Anger, Sadness, Fear, Shame and Guilt.  

          1. What's the difference between shame and guilt.  

          1. Most people could not tell me the difference.  Rare that someone could give me a good answer.     

        6. Do you know the difference between shame and guilt?  Do your siblings know the difference? Does your spouse or significant other, do your friends, your kids, your siblings.  

      1. As we will see, it a crucial distinction -- because the upshot is that we work with them in very different ways.   

      1. focusing today recognizing the difference between shame and guilt
         
        1. Important psychologically
      2.  
        1. Important spiritually
      3.  
        1. Not just an idle curiosity, the kind of thing philosopher like to debate about 

        1. But a real world concern
           
          1. Brene Brown: I believe the differences between shame and guilt are critical in informing everything from the way we parent and engage in relationships, to the way we give feedback at work and school.
        2.  


      1. Bernard Williams (1993) claims that guilt and shame overlap to a significant degree and we will not understand either unless we take both seriously.
    8.  
      1. Catholic guilt or Catholic shame.  

  2. Review.  
    1. Shame has been very difficult to define.  Most definitions have been inadequate and very contradictory.  
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