Episode Details

Ashley is flying solo this week (Kila's on vacation, back next week!) and this one hits close to home. She sits down with Stacee Reed, Director of Innovation at the National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA), for an honest, funny, and deeply personal conversation about what addiction does to the kids in the room — and how we break the cycle for good.

As a child of an addict herself — dad sober 31 years and running a recovery house, a brother still in active addiction, and two babies she and her husband recently adopted out of the system — Ashley brings lived experience to Stacy's 15 years in the field. Together they unpack the shame, the science, and the small things that actually help.

In this episode:

- Why addiction is a disease, not a choice — "nobody wakes up and says I'm going to be a crappy parent today"

- The Seven C's every kid needs to hear: you didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't control it

- The casserole problem: why we bring meals for cancer but gossip for addiction

- Person-first language, and how to be a safe adult a kid can talk to

- The ACE study — how adverse childhood experiences raise the odds, and why they're not your destiny

- Family roles (the hero, the clown, the perfectionist) and carrying them into adulthood

- Ashley's raw take on the foster/DCS system and the resources families never get

- Why first responders and teachers need training to see the children at the scene "We don't shame people for getting cancer, but we do shame people for being an addict.

It's not a moral failing — it's a disease." If you grew up around addiction, love someone who did, or work with kids who do — this one's for you. You're not alone, and it was never your fault.

📌 Resources: National Association for Children of Addiction — free parent, caregiver, and children's toolkits, the Children's Program Kit, and the Seven C's at nacoa.org.

Family support through Al-Anon. September is Recovery Month.

🎙️ Raising Barbara Jean & Wanda is part of the Spread The Positive Network — new episodes weekly.

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