Episode Details

Magic was never scary to me. That’s why finding out I was afraid of it caught me completely off guard and left me spinning.

For years I’d been working with magic without calling it that.  I wrote little songs for myself, repeated like chants, to help me manifest a newspaper column, my husband, and plenty of smaller things along the way.

I didn’t think of it as magic but as a way to focus my energy. However, once my magic coach pointed out what I was actually doing, an old fear surfaced right alongside the curiosity. I had no idea where it came from.

That question sent me looking for an answer, and what I found was a protective wall around my own heart. Two walls, actually, discovered years apart, protecting two very different parts of my life. Here’s both stories, plus what I’m doing about it at a live event on July 29th.

The Cage Around My Heart

Back in 2020, stuck inside during Covid like everyone else, I started working with a magic coach named Mikala. She helped me see the magic I’d already been using for years without naming it. That was exciting and also the moment the fear showed up.

It wasn’t rational. I wasn’t casting spells or doing anything harmful, just directing my energy toward what I wanted. But the dread was real once I discovered this was magic. So, I went looking for its source the way I usually do with past-life work. This is a healing modality I’ve relied on for close to 30 years.

The Akashic Records had already revealed plenty to me about past lives and how they influence me today. Like why calligraphy came so naturally. I had been a monk illuminating Bibles in the Middle Ages, as it turned out.

This time, what I found was darker. I discovered a life in Venice that ended with my head removed for practicing magic with a group. There was also a pattern of betrayal tied to magic showing up more than once.

So by 2022, I decided to finally work through it using a meditation based on Dr. Bradley Nelson’s Emotion Code He created this idea that we sometimes create a protective wall around the heart that can block us instead of helping us.

Asking to See the Wall

I set my intention to heal my fear of magic. Then I asked to see the wall in this gentle meditation.

What appeared was a stone dungeon. I was standing inside a metal cage, spikes pointing inward at heart level which seems like something straight out of a horror film. I didn’t know how to dismantle it myself, so I asked my guides to handle it. The metal melted into a puddle at my feet.

Then it reformed into a metal plate with two interlocking hearts, one pointed down and one pointed up, woven together like the Star of David. I stopped the meditation right there, went to my computer, and looked up the symbol. It represents unity. One heart and the end of duality. Whoa – that felt important.

Going back into the meditation, I asked what that meant for me and my magic. The answer was to stand on the plate whenever I do magic now. It will keep me safe.

I still don’t cast spells or light ritual candles, though there’s nothing wrong with that path for someone else. However, these days I talk about magic openly with clients, with friends, or anyone curious enough to ask. A few years ago I never would have said that out loud.

Is Your Subconscious Keeping You Too Safe?

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