Episode Details

What if the last thing you'd ever want for someone you love is a viewing at a funeral home?

In this episode, I sit down with Bonita Ralph, a death educator, family support practitioner and former Holistic Funeral Director whose work spans home-based death care, infant and child loss, and paediatric palliative care. Bonita's journey began with a simple but profound question on a drive home from holiday: “What if I died? What would happen?” That moment sent her down a rabbit hole into community-led death care, eventually leading her to specialise in extended family-led vigils and the care of babies and children who have died.

Bonita shares what she has learned from working with bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents, including the “concentric circles of support” model for knowing who to lean on, and who not to burden, in grief. We talk candidly about invisible infant loss, the myths that still shape what people believe is or isn't possible in after-death care, and why she pushes back when funeral providers say something “can't be done.” Bonita also explains what home-based death care actually looks like, what a shrouded witness cremation involves, and why she believes death education belongs in schools.

We also explore her work in paediatric palliative care, where she says the first word that comes to mind is joy, and how holding both heartbreak and joy at once has shaped the way she supports families from diagnosis through to bereavement.

Remember; You may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared.

Take care,

Catherine

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