Episode Details

Presented by Jenn Miller

Let’s look at Mary and Martha. You might be most familiar with these two sisters for their opposite personalities—Martha, being type A and consumed by what needs to get done, and Mary being the one who applauded for resting and sitting at Jesus’ feet. All throughout the gospel accounts, these sisters and their brother, Lazarus, offered hospitality to Jesus and became some of his dearest friends. But in John 11, word comes to Jesus that Lazarus is sick, actually very sick. The sisters contacted Jesus out of faith. They knew Jesus was able to heal the sick—they had seen his miracles, and they put their faith in him and called on him to come heal their brother. Jesus’ response is quite confusing though.

Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days (John 11:5-6).

If someone you love is extremely sick, and you have the ability to help, wouldn’t you get up and rush to their side? Isn’t that what love does? The Bible reassures us of Jesus’ love for each of them, and yet, he deliberately chose to stay. And he waited. And Lazarus died.

When Jesus finally came to Bethany, Lazarus had been dead four days. As we think through lament, I want you to put yourself in Mary and Martha’s shoes for a minute. They were trusting Jesus to heal their brother. They implored him to come. They waited and waited. Perhaps they took a break from tending Lazarus’ sick bed to go outside and see if Jesus was coming around the corner. But he wasn’t. And these two sisters watched their beloved brother die, wrapped his body, and placed him in a tomb. Imagine what Mary and Martha were feeling.

Perhaps you know the intense pain of losing a loved one. This year I suddenly lost a family member that seemed perfectly healthy. The shock was jarring and painful. The death of a loved one is absolutely a reason to lament. And yet, as terrible as losing Lazarus was, I think there was an even greater lament for Mary and Martha. They both spoke to Jesus when he arrived separately and the first thing they said was, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Do you hear the pain of confusion? Do you hear the notes of disappointment and feelings of betrayal? I think the deeper lament is that these women put their faith and hope in Jesus and were left disappointed.

That is not something good Christians like to talk about, but I have experienced those moments. Have you? Have you prayed earnestly in faith and received an entirely different outcome than you expected? Have you committed yourself to teaching your children faithfully only to watch them fall away? Have you tried to live obediently to the Lord and yet you look at your life, and it is not what you imagined it would be like at all? Do you feel like Jesus has let you down? If you feel that way, know you are not alone.

Life can be confusing and disorienting. And when it doesn’t make sense and you are hurting, come to Jesus. That is what Mary and Martha did, and it was the first step in their healing. They both shared their feeling of bewilderment and even possibly betrayal that Jesus waited to come, chose not to heal Lazarus, and let him die. Satan wants you to hold that hurt and confusion and let it fester into resentment, bitterness, and unbelief. But when you come to Jesus and honestly pour out your heart, however messy or honest it is, that is when Jesus meets us in the lament. And he met Martha and Mary in two very different ways that show his character.

First with Martha, Jesus comforts her with the truth of his character.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die” (John 11:25).

This was one of Jesus’ I am statements, and he chose