Episode Details

There are certain weeks that quietly change the conversation you thought you were going to have.

When I first sat down to prepare this episode, I had an entirely different topic planned. The outline was finished, the title was chosen, and I knew exactly where I wanted the conversation to go. But life has a way of reminding us that some of our most meaningful lessons aren't the ones we prepare for, they're the ones we live through.

This became one of those weeks.

Across Massachusetts, the sky looked unfamiliar. Smoke from wildfires burning hundreds of miles away drifted over New England, casting a yellow haze across the landscape and leaving the air feeling noticeably heavy. Everywhere I went, people were talking about it. The sky looked different, the air smelled different, and even simple conversations began with the same observation: Something feels off today.

It reminded me how deeply we're connected to the world around us. We often think our emotional state comes only from our circumstances or our thoughts, yet our environment quietly shapes our experience in ways we rarely acknowledge. Sometimes we feel the weight of something before we fully understand why.

As I watched those hazy skies throughout the week, I couldn't help but recognize that they reflected something happening within me as well.

For the past several weeks, I had been interviewing for a position that genuinely felt aligned with both my experience and the life I'm intentionally building. There were multiple interviews, assessments, reference checks, and thoughtful conversations. Eventually, it came down to one final decision.

This week, I learned I wasn't selected.

I want to pause there because I think it's important to say something that often gets overlooked whenever we talk about disappointment. The people involved in that process treated me with nothing but kindness, generosity, and respect. I left every conversation feeling grateful for the opportunity, and I sincerely hope the person they selected thrives in the role.

The outcome wasn't what I hoped for, but gratitude and disappointment are not opposites.

They can exist together.

That realization became even more meaningful because there was another part of this story that very few people knew.

Earlier this summer, I accepted a different opportunity. After spending time reflecting, I realized it wasn't aligned with the life I'm trying to build. Walking away wasn't the easier choice, especially financially, but it was the honest one. It reminded me that alignment and certainty are not always the same thing. Sometimes doing what's right creates more uncertainty before it creates clarity.

Because I had already made that decision, this recent opportunity carried even more meaning. I wasn't simply looking for work. I was hoping to find something that could exist alongside Thrivewell rather than compete with it. Naturally, I hoped it would work out.

When it didn't, I allowed myself to feel disappointed.

Not defeated.

Not hopeless.

Simply disappointed.

I think we've become so uncomfortable with difficult emotions that we often try to rush past them. We search for silver linings before we've allowed ourselves to acknowledge the loss. We convince ourselves we shouldn't feel hurt because "everything happens for a reason." While those thoughts can eventually bring comfort, they shouldn't become a way of avoiding what we're honestly feeling.

Healing has never asked us to stop feeling.

It asks us to feel honestly without allowing our emotions to become our identity.

At exactly the same time all of this was unfolding, something completely different was happening.

Every spare moment I had this week was devoted to building what has become the biggest Thrivewell project I've created to date. It challenged my creativity, stretched my problem-solving skills, and reminded me just