Episode Details

Every marriage goes through difficult seasons.

But what happens when you're the only one willing to do the work?

When every conversation ends in blame, defensiveness, or silence? When you're trying to repair the relationship, but your partner refuses to take responsibility?

In this week's episode, Dr. Alison sits down with licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert Leslie Vernick to explore the difference between a marriage that's simply hard and one that's become emotionally destructive.

Together, they unpack the patterns that quietly erode trust, why healthy relationships require repair, and how to begin reclaiming your own stability—even if your spouse never changes.

You'll learn:

• The difference between a difficult marriage and an emotionally destructive one

• Why repair—not perfection—is the mark of a healthy relationship

• The warning signs of blame, gaslighting, and chronic deflection

• How to stop centering your life around changing another person

• Why becoming a God-centered person changes the way you navigate unhealthy relationships

• Practical first steps you can take when you're the only one pursuing growth

Whether you're navigating a difficult marriage yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers wisdom, compassion, and hope.

Because healing doesn't always begin when someone else changes.

Sometimes it begins when you discover what it looks like to stand on your own two feet while remaining deeply rooted in God.

Take Leslie’s free quiz “Are you in an emotionally destructive marriage?”

Make sure to read Leslie’s book “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing it, Stopping It, Surviving It”

More Resources:

You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide!

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others.

Want to hear more like this? Start here:

Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard—The Relationship Skills No One Taught You (with Relationship Expert Dr. James Cordova)

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

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