Episode Details

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩Licensed Marriage Family Therapist JJ West and Licensed Professional Counselor Doug Barnes continue Season 3 with a crucial conversation on the role of empathy in sexual integrity recovery.​In this episode, they explore why empathy is not “soft” or optional, but central to healing—from how God empathizes with us, to how we learn to extend empathy to ourselves, and finally how we offer it to the spouses and loved ones we’ve hurt.​☎️ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:“What is sexual addiction, really?”JJ and Doug define sexual addiction as misusing sexuality outside God’s will and design to try to change how we feel inside, rather than turning to God and healthy connection.​“Why ‘just stop the behavior’ doesn’t work.”They explain how focusing only on behavior (porn, acting out, affairs) ignores the broken emotions, lies, and internal pain driving those behaviors—and why this becomes a major barrier to empathy and long‑term change.​“When church or spouse says, “Just stop it.’”Many men have been shamed by spouses, churches, or leaders who only address outward behavior and miss the broken heart underneath, leaving men condemned instead of cared for.​“How God models divine empathy.”Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.John 8 – The woman caught in adultery, where Jesus says, “Neither do I condemn you… Go and sin no more,” combining deep compassion with a call to change.Hebrews 4:15 – Jesus as our High Priest who can empathize with our weakness because He was tempted in every way, yet without sin.“Experiencing empathy before offering empathy.”They describe a progression:Receive empathy from God.Learn to extend empathy to yourself instead of self‑hatred.Accept empathy from safe others (like brothers in recovery).Offer empathy to those you’ve hurt—especially a betrayed spouse dealing with grief and triggers.“Empathy vs. sympathy—what’s the difference?”Doug explains:Sympathy: “I feel for you. I’m sorry that happened.”Empathy: “I feel with you. I’m entering into what this feels like for you.”They talk about how many men were only taught sympathy (“I’m sorry”) but never learned how to slow down, be curious, and actually feel with another person.“You can’t give what you don’t have.”If a man has never been allowed to feel or understand his own emotions, the emotions of his wife or kids can feel scary, and he’ll tend to shut down, fix, defend, or explain instead of empathizing. JJ uses a driving example with a couple to show how a husband can move from defensiveness (“You shouldn’t be scared”) to true empathy (“I know what that kind of fear feels like, I’ve been there”).“Jesus wept—with them, not just for them.”They reflect on Jesus at Lazarus’ tomb, who already knew what He would do, but still wept with Mary and Martha in their pain—another powerful picture of God’s empathy in action.“If you’ve been condemned, don’t let that block your healing.”JJ speaks directly to men who’ve been shamed by churches, leaders, or family: don’t let their sin against you keep you from pursuing the healing and empathy God offers you now.​“Where can I learn and practice empathy?”They encourage men to lean into Scripture, safe community, and especially the Every Man’s Battle Intensive and follow‑up groups as places where they can receive empathy and practice offering it to others.​This episode ends with a teaser: there’s more to say about empathy, so the conversation continues in next week’s episode.📚 FEATURED RESOURCES NEXT STEPS:➡️ 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙫𝙚 (Men’s Sexual Integrity Workshop)A 3‑day, shame‑free intensive where you’ll:Receive empathy and truth from licensed Christ