Episode Details

Hey friend. Welcome back to Midlife Transformation for your Sunday Solace episode. I'm so glad you're here — whether you've got your coffee, your Bible, or you're just sitting in a quiet car trying to steal five minutes before the day finds you, this is your space. 

Today I want to talk about something that sounds simple on the surface — values — but I promise you, by the time we're done, it's going to name something you've been carrying for a while. Something you maybe haven't had words for yet.

Because here's what I know, and if you've been listening to this podcast for any amount of time, I know that you are not lazy. You are not uncommitted. You are not a woman who doesn't care.

You are a woman who is living out of alignment. That is the difference.

I want to take you back to a season in my own life. After my CLL diagnosis — after I got that news and the world kind of tilted for a minute — I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I got really quiet and I looked at my life. Not the life I said I was living. The actual life. The one my calendar told on me. The one my 9 p.m. exhaustion told on me.

And what I saw was this: I said Christ was first. I said my kids were everything. I said my health mattered. But my days? My days told a different story. I was pouring from a cup I never filled. I was saying yes to everything except the things I said mattered most. Shortly after, I began working with Life Coach.

And that gap — that space between what you say you value and what your Tuesday actually looks like — that is exactly where women like us lose ourselves. Quietly. Slowly. One small misdirected yes at a time.

Colossians 2:6 and 7 says this: "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

Rooted. Built up. Strengthened.

That word rooted — it's not passive. A tree doesn't accidentally get rooted. There's intention in it. There's depth in it. The roots go down before anything goes up.

And here's what I've learned in my own life, and what I believe with everything in me: He does not leave us. We leave Him. And most of the time, we don't leave all at once. We drift. One compromise, one skipped quiet morning, one season of running on fumes — and slowly, our lives stop reflecting what we actually believe.

Values are the root system. When you don't know what they are — or you know what they are but you're not living them — everything above the ground starts to wobble.

So today I want to walk you through the very first piece of work we do inside Rooted — my 90-day coaching program — because I believe it belongs here, on this podcast, with you, today.

It's called your Personal Life Priority Code. And it starts with one deceptively simple question: What do you actually value?

Not what sounds good. Not what you think a good Christian woman is supposed to say. What actually influences how you think, how you act, and how you structure your days.

Here's how the process works, and I want you to grab a journal if you have one nearby.

Step one: You review a core values list. There are categories like Adventure, Beauty, Spirituality, Connection, Integrity, Harmony, Contribution, Compassion — and under each one, there are words. Specific words. Things like faithfulness, presence, authenticity, wisdom, encouragement, belonging. Your job in step one is just to read through them slowly and notice what resonates. Not what looks impressive — what resonates. What feels like yes, that's me. Or sometimes — and this is the one I want you to pay attention to — what you want to dismiss as silly or too simple. Because sometimes that's exactly the value you've been ignoring.

Step two: You choose your top 10. Not your absolute, forever, carved-in-stone to