Episode Details

CONNECT WITH ZOE, ELLIE + UNFOLDING

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What happens when two adoptees sit down for coffee at a place called the Blue Kangaroo? Apparently, a movement.

This week I'm joined by two women I can only describe as kindreds: Zoe Hansen-DiBello and Ellie Robinson, co-founders of Unfolding - an app built by adoptees, for adoptees, launching THIS month. Their tagline is "where curiosity meets belonging," and if you've been with me through the 5 Conditions of Self-Belonging series, you already know why my whole body was buzzing before we even hit record.

We go deep into the milestones that carry layers other people never see - birthdays that are both celebration and anniversary of loss, the medical history clipboard and the weight of writing "unknown," school assignments that taught us we were othered before we had words for it, and the primal experience of becoming a parent and meeting your first biological relative.

Zoe shares how becoming a mom "complicated the narrative" - and how her body told the story of abandonment through two years of chronic hives before her mind could catch up. Ellie shares her reunion journey at 21, the discovery that rocked her identity years later, and the grief that literally took her to the floor - and led her to build the community she couldn't find.

And then we get into Unfolding: a daily practice of reflection, breath work, and journaling designed to give adoptees (and the people who love them) a shared language for the big feelings. Because we grow up - and we don't stop being adopted.

This one is for adoptees, adoptive parents, partners of adoptees, and anyone who loves one. Which, statistically? Is just about everyone.

KEY MOMENTS

00:05 - Welcome + how this episode connects to the 5 Conditions of Self-Belonging
 03:43 - Zoe's story: adopted at 11 days old, four women, and the moment motherhood brought it all to the foreground
 08:09 - When the body keeps the score: grief, chronic hives, and what cleared them
 10:16 - Ellie's story: closed adoption, a "speed round" reunion at 21, and what reunion actually opened
 16:16 - The phone call that changed everything - and the hug that told Ellie the truth before the DNA test did
 21:13 - The Blue Kangaroo coffee: accidental ghosting, a mutual friend, and a partnership born in one sitting
 25:25 - Milestones that carry layers: what a birthday really is for an adoptee ("big feeling days")
 30:14 - The medical history clipboard: "family history: unknown," defense mechanisms, and the box doctors aren't checking
 38:47 - School assignments, family trees, and feeling othered before we had words (plus a first-grade Hanukkah lesson you have to hear)
 42:40 - Becoming parents + a somatic bridge: from "what's wrong with me" to "what is happening in me"
 45:07 - Inside Unfolding: the daily card, breath work, journaling, and sparking real-life connection
 47:36 - Why "Unfolding"? (A shower moment, not AI - and a name that keeps going)
 50:43 - Big Feeling ice cream: proof the framework works in real life
 52:23 - A public health crisis hiding in plain sight - and why this app had to exist
 57:14 - What 99 Kickstarter backers taught them about who this is really for
 58:43 - Where to find Unfolding + join the waitlist
 59:22 - What Zoe and Ellie are personally curious about in their own unfolding
 1:05:41 = Closing + a brand new tagline you'll be hearing