Episode Details

What if healing is not about getting rid of painful thoughts, fixing every feeling, or becoming a completely different person?

In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with Dr. Elisabeth Morray, licensed psychologist, acceptance and commitment therapy expert, and VP of Clinical at Alma.

Dr. Morray introduces the concept of psychological flexibility—the ability to experience difficult thoughts, emotions, memories, and life circumstances without allowing them to control your choices, identity, or future.

For adult children of dysfunction, this conversation is especially important. When you grew up adapting to chaos, people-pleasing, walking on eggshells, or trying to earn safety and love, your survival patterns may still be making decisions for you today.

Together, Tammy and Dr. Morray talk about how to:

• Understand the six core components of psychological flexibility
• Stop treating every thought as truth
• Create distance between “I am a failure” and “I am having the thought that I am a failure”
• Stay present instead of reacting from childhood survival wiring
• Discover your values when you have spent your life being who everyone else needed you to be
• Understand why pain and connection often come together
• Stop trying to avoid every hard feeling
• Find a therapist who makes you feel safe, seen, heard, and accepted
• Know when it is okay to leave a therapist who is not the right fit
• Set up your environment to support the life you want instead of relying only on motivation and willpower

One of the biggest takeaways from this episode is simple but powerful:

You are not your thoughts. You are the person noticing your thoughts—and you can choose what happens next.

Dr. Morray also shares how Alma helps people find therapists and medication prescribers who fit their needs, identities, insurance, and preferred therapy approaches—including ACT, IFS, somatic work, trauma-informed care, and more.

If you have ever felt like you have spent years in therapy but still wake up with anxiety, heaviness, or old survival patterns running the show, this episode will remind you that healing is not about never feeling pain again.

It is about building the tools to move through pain without abandoning yourself.

Connect with Dr. Elisabeth Morray & Alma

LinkedIn: Dr. Elisabeth Morray on LinkedIn

Find a therapist through Alma

Instagram: @withalma

LinkedIn: Alma on LinkedIn

Books Mentioned in This Episode

• Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven C. Hayes
• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

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