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34. Let Me Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want: The Sex Communication Survival Guide
Description
Can sex still feel good when pain, aging, chronic illness, or life changes get in the way? What does a sex counselor actually do? And how do you tell your partner that what used to work… doesn't quite work anymore, without making everyone want to crawl under the bed and hide?
Sexologist Dr. Heather Howard joins Drs Ashley & Meredith on this episode of Labia Logic to explain how she helps people have more comfortable, connected, and realistic conversations about sex.
Dr. Howard explains what sexology and sexuality counseling really look like, especially for people navigating pelvic pain, chronic health conditions, desire differences, cancer, orthopedic issues, Peyronie's disease, aging bodies, and the very common "my libido has left the chat" experience. She also shares her Ergo Erotics Process, which helps individuals and couples rethink intimacy through comfort, creativity, positioning, movement strategies, and communication instead of assuming sex has to follow one very narrow script.
There are no "shoulds" in sex, the brain is absolutely part of the sexual response, and pain, low desire, and physical limitations do not mean anyone is broken. This conversation covers how to start hard conversations with a partner, why planning ahead can make sex feel safer, how to create boundaries before things escalate, and why a satisfying sex life often requires a team approach.
As these Doctors always say, vulva is a team sport, and sometimes the most intimate thing you can do is stop pretending the old script still fits.
Links:
@drheatherhoward on LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram
About Our Guest:
Dr. Heather Howard is a sexuality counselor and financial coach who helps individuals and couples navigate challenges at the intersection of intimacy, health, and money. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality and an MBA in Finance and Accounting, and is the founder of the Center for Sexual Health and Rehabilitation. She has served as faculty for Stanford School of Medicine and the California Institute of Integral Studies Human Sexuality programs.
Her work supports clients experiencing sexual concerns related to chronic health conditions, pelvic pain, trauma, life transitions, and relationship stress. She also helps patients address financial stress that contributes to anxiety, relationship conflict, and avoidance of medical or sexual care. Through education, practical skill-building, andvalues-aligned financial systems, she helps clients reduce shame, improve communication around sensitive topics, and build healthier patterns that support emotional intimacy, sexual well-being, and greater relational vitality.
More about the hosts of Labia Logic: Dr. Ashley Fuller is a Sexual Medicine Gynecologist and Vulvar Specialist in Seattle, WA.
Dr. Meredith McClure is a Menopause Specialist, Sexual Medicine Gynecologist, and Vulvar Specialist in Dallas, TX.
Follow the show on Instagram @labia_logic