Episode Details

Do you feel anxious, confused, or unsafe in your marriage, but you can’t quite explain why? These 7 emotional safety examples can help you find clarity when your husband’s words sound loving, but his actions leave you feeling betrayed.

Before we get to the list, to see if he’s using any one of the 19 types of emotional abuse tactics, take our free emotional abuse test.

7 EMOTIONAL SAFETY EXAMPLES

In this article you’ll see the following emotional safety examples:

• 7 Practical examples of emotional safety issues.
• Identifying his behaviors that threaten your emotionally safety.
• Realizing that your reactions to his emotional abuse are “normal.”
• What getting the right information means for your emotional safety.
• Honoring your needs and boundaries is essential as you decide next steps.

1. IF HIS ACTIONS DON’T MATCH HIS WORDS, TRUST WHAT YOU SEE

How it Sounds: “I love you and I’d never do anything to hurt you or our family.”

His promises could sound comforting, but his patterns are evidence that shows who he really is. If you find yourself assessing his mood or, rehearsing conversations afterwards to figure out what went wrong. Or realize the same issues never get resolved no matter how carefully you explain them, start trusting what you can see and feel.

Emotional safety begins with trusting your instincts.

2. IF HE USES MONEY OR OTHER RESOURCES TO CONTROL YOU, UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS

How it Sounds: “I’m just trying to take care of you. You don’t need to worry about the money.”

It may feel caring or protective for your husband to take care of the finances, but if he is secretive about his purchases, monitors every purchase you make, withholds money, interferes with your ability to work, or makes you feel dependent on him for basic needs, that is not protection. It is control.

Emotional safety examples, means you have access to money, transportation, information, food, medical care, and communication without having to beg, panic, or wait for him to decide whether you deserve them.

3. IF HE USES STRESS, SADNESS, OR HELPLESSNESS TO EXPLOIT YOU, PROTECT YOUR ENERGY

How it Sounds: “I’m so overwhelmed lately. I need your help, so I can focus on recovery.”

If your husband tries to pressure you into feeling responsible for his recovery by using stress at work or his overwhelming shame as an excuse to get you to schedule his appointments or keep track of his progress, it’s important that you protect your energy.

Emotional safety means he considers you as a person with needs and a life of your own, not just someone who’s there to “help him” manage his.

4. IF HE TWISTS THE TRUTH AND BLAMES YOUR “POOR” COMMUNICATION, BE STRATEGIC: EMOTIONAL SAFETY EXAMPLES

How it Sounds: “You never told me you had a problem with my behavior.”

One of the ways a manipulative husband keep