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How might criticism be enabling rather than shaming?
Description
Why is criticism often so hard to take? What is it inside us that shrinks when someone points out something we've missed, we lack or we've done 'wrong'? Who sets the parameters for 'right and wrong' and what does it actually mean to 'critique' someone?
In this week's episode we explore the qualities of criticism and why - all too often - it can elicit feelings of shame and worthlessness in the recipient. We explore some of the nuances of shame; explore the different qualities of 'lack' that are sometimes apparent in the giver and receiver of criticism and discuss at length the value and strength of criticism that allows both parties to grow together - something that is perhaps hard to do but so generative when it happens.
In the conversation we reference the following:
- Listening to Shame - Brené Brown (TED talk video)
- 'How Not to Be Defensive in Relationships' - The School of Life (video)
- The support/challenge matrix (PDF)
- Peonies opening (video)
- Being Nice vs Being Kind - Trevor Noah (video)
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It's not rebellion, exactly. More of a quiet refusal to look away. We're inconvenient. And if you feel it, then maybe you are too. Join us.
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