Episode Details

How do you answer your kids' questions about divorce when you're barely holding yourself together? In this solo "Hey Olivia" episode of Divorce Happens, Olivia Howell answers a letter from a parent whose kids seemed "fine" when they first heard about the divorce — and are now flooding her with questions. Where will I sleep? Will I still see my friends? Do you still love each other? Is it my fault? If you've already told your kids about the divorce and the questions won't stop, this episode is the steadying guide you've been looking for.

Olivia explains why that "fine in the moment" reaction is textbook child psychology, why the wave of questions is actually a sign of trust, and the three things your kids truly need to hear — repeated as often as they need them. She shares a skill that changes how these conversations feel: listening for the question underneath the question, and answering the fear instead of the surface. And she talks honestly about you — how to stay emotionally present for your children while you're grieving too, without having to be perfect or have a script ready for every hard moment.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why kids often seem "too okay" at first — and why the questions come later
• How the flood of questions is a sign of trust and attachment, not a sign you got it wrong
• The three anchors every child needs to hear: this is not your fault, you'll be loved and cared for by both of us, you'll always have a home
• Why "I don't know yet, but we're working on it" is an honest, appropriate answer
• The skill of listening for the question underneath the question — and answering the fear beneath it
• How to directly and completely address "Is this my fault?" — even before they ask it out loud
• Giving yourself permission to say "Let me think about that and come back to you"
• Modeling emotional honesty without oversharing — and why a little realness helps
• Practical anchors for this season: routines, timing, and when a child therapist can help

ABOUT DIVORCE HAPPENS:

Divorce Happens is a podcast supporting people before, during, and after divorce, hosted by Olivia Howell. The show runs on one belief: divorce is not a failure, and it carries no shame. Through honest guest conversations and solo "Hey Olivia" episodes answering listener questions, Olivia offers real tools, real comfort, and the reminder that you're so much further along than you think.

SUPPORT & RESOURCES:

If your kids are working through a lot right now, a few sessions with a child therapist can give them one warm, neutral adult who is entirely in their corner — not because anything is wrong, but because support helps. And give yourself somewhere to put your own grief too: a therapist, a divorce coach, or a trusted friend can hold space for you while you hold space for them.

LISTEN & FOLLOW:

If this episode helped you, follow Divorce Happens on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, leave a rating or review, and share it with a parent who's fielding the same hard questions right now. You are seen, and you are doing an incredible job. 💙

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