Episode Details

Have you ever felt like you are carrying something heavy that you cannot quite explain, something that does not even feel like it started with you? A few years ago I traced my own anxious drive back to grandparents I never met, people who were, in a real sense, being chased by wolves. It turns out a lot of what we call “my issues” was handed to us. And that makes it far more workable than it feels. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Thomas Hübl, the teacher and trauma-integration facilitator who co-wrote the new book Releasing Our Burdens with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems. Thomas studies healing as one continuum that runs from the individual to the ancestral to the collective, and he joined me to explain why the thing you keep trying to fix about yourself may not have started with you, and what becomes possible when you stop fighting it and start to thaw it. In This Episode Why the thing you keep trying to fix about yourself may not have started with you, and what that changes The freezer metaphor that explains what trauma quietly costs you every single day Why Thomas calls trauma “a loan from the future,” and how the bill comes due What is really happening when your partner says one thing and your whole body locks up How intergenerational trauma gets passed down, in your nervous system and even in your cells The difference between the resilience you inherited and the burden you inherited Why a whole country can feel stuck and reactive, and what that has to do with your own healing A different definition of healing: not fixing what is broken, but releasing what is frozen This episode is for anyone who has ever looked at their own anxiety, or their drivenness, or that low hum of feeling empty for no reason they can name, and thought, where is this even coming from? If you have done the personal work and still feel like there is a layer underneath you cannot reach, this conversation opens a door. Some of what you carry is not a personal failing. It is inherited. And it can be set down. Episode Breakdown 00:00 Trauma That Didn't Start With You 10:42 Why You're Driven by People You Never Met 13:24 When a Whole Country Can't Calm Down 18:52 The Tension She Carried for Decades 31:41 Trauma Is a Loan From the Future 35:21 Who Pays the Electricity Bill? 39:30 Your Partner Doesn't Have the Remote Control for Your Heart 53:31 Cleaning Up the Living Room We Were Born Into Resources Full episode page (everything in one place, including Thomas’s books and where to find him) Free “What’s Holding You Back?” Quiz Personal growth coaching and therapy at Growing Self Talk to someone (free consultation) If you take one thing from today, let it be this: some of what you are carrying did not start with you, and it can be released. If something in here landed, the What’s Holding You Back quiz is a quick, free place to begin, and if you want to talk it through with a real person, a free consultation with one of our coaches or therapists is just a conversation, no pressure. We work with people across a whole range of experience levels and price points, including newer coaches in our practicum, so there is usually a fit for almost any budget. Come find all of it at GrowingSelf.com. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Upwork — When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. OSEA — Amazing, clean, science-backed skincare made with the power of the sea. Use code LHS at oseamali