Episode Details

I love people. Especially the loveable ones. I think I love people well until I come across a difficult person.

Maybe you also keep a private list of those who-best-not-be-named, and pray you never see again. Even worse: you work alongside of them. Or much, much worse: you’re related to them. The funny thing is none of our secrets are secret to God. The other funny thing is He’s got a plan for how we deal with our difficult people.

What can we do? Pretend they don’t bother us? Change locations? Speak the truth in love and the truth is: we don’t like them and we would love it if they left us alone? It’s not convenient to move to Australia to join Alexander on his no-good-very-bad day caused by a no-good, not-so-pleasant, irritating person. But it doesn’t stop us wishing we could be on the next plane.

Today we talk about

WHAT MAKES A DIFFICULT PERSON DIFFICULT?

DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY—DO THEY MATTER?

SIMPLE PRACTICES TO HELP US WITH OUR DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Keeping my mouth shut is usually a good idea. 

Some thoughts:

• You’ve heard the expression, “Hurt people hurt people.” I forget that fact when I’m the object of that hurt.
• When difficult people lash out, I want to listen with my heart, not just my ears, and think: I wonder what’s going on to make her act that way? Was there something in his past that’s causing this behavior?
• Cultivating a grown-up relationship with your most beloved may include painstaking prayers for wisdom and love, timing and tone.
• Degrees of difficulty do matter. On the one hand, we need to exercise patience and kind words. On the other end of the spectrum, extreme behavior warrants firm and healthy boundaries. Ask for the help you need.
• Some conversations don’t need to take place, especially when we begin with prayer.
• Forbearance is putting up with more than you are due (or that you THINK you are due!) The thing is we want everyone to forbear with us, but forget to forbear with everyone else.

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