Episode Details

In this episode, Simon Goode explores how individuals and leaders can effectively manage communication and conflict during periods of change, emphasizing the importance of self-regulation and support for others. He introduces frameworks like the circles of control, influence, and acceptance, and discusses practical strategies such as mindfulness and the GROW coaching model. Simon Goode also reflects on the nuances of acceptance, advocating for a more strategic approach to letting go or taking action as situations evolve.

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00:00 Adapting to Change and Conflict

04:02 Managing emotions in conversations

07:13 Five factor self framework overview

13:05 Creating Conditions for Success

15:54 Exploring Options and Taking Action

19:13 Discussing strategic acceptance

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Hi everyone,

Thanks for being part of the Conflict Skills Podcast community! In our latest episode, Simon Goode explores how we can better manage communication and conflict during times of change—especially from a leadership or management perspective. Here are some key takeaways and resources to help you face change with confidence and clarity.

Self-Regulation is the Foundation

Before we can support others, we need to manage ourselves. Simon Goode reminds us that true self-control isn’t always as straightforward as “just choose to respond calmly”—our physiological state and context matter. He builds on the traditional idea of the “circle of control,” introducing a five-factor framework for self-regulation:

The Five Factors:

• Thoughts: The stories and narratives we tell ourselves
• Feelings: Emotional reactions, from gut instincts to strong emotions
• Perception: Deliberately shifting what you focus on (like mindfulness exercises)
• Physical Body: Your physiological state; small actions like eating, showering, or moving can help
• Behavior: The actions you actually take

By addressing these factors—even something as simple as wiggling your toes or changing your environment—you can improve your self-regulation and set the stage for more effective interactions.

Circles of Influence (and Acceptance)

Once we’ve worked on self-regulation, we can turn to the circle of influence—the area where we can affect change, especially in our teams and relationships. Simon Goode references the GROW coaching model to guide conversations:

• Goal: What matters most right now?
• Reality: What’s actually happening?
• Options: What could we try?
• Way forward: What steps will we take?

Finally, the circle of acceptance is about choosing what to let go of and when. But Simon Goode invites us to see this less as giving up, and more as strategic acceptance: What is okay to let go for now? What still needs your advocacy or action, even if it can’t be changed immediately?

Reflect & Connect

• How do you manage your speech, tone, or expressions during stressful transitions?
• What triggers make self-control most difficult?
• Where can you create better conditions for yourself and your team to thrive through change?

Simon Goode would love to hear your thoughts! Reply to this email or write to podcast@simongood.com.

Additional Resources:

• Listen to the latest episode for a deeper dive into these frameworks
• Free resources and upcoming online courses available soon—keep an eye on your inbox!

Thank you for being with us. Remember, being present and mindful is a conflict skill in itself.

See you next time,
The Conflict Skills Podcast Team

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