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Someone can be charming, competent, and impressive in public, then quietly run your home like a system built on power and control. That disconnect is why so many people struggle to name what’s happening until they’re already deep in the “spin cycle.” 

We sit down with Jamie Davis of Spin Cycle Coaching to map the narcissist playbook in plain language: idealization and love bombing, the slow creep of control, devaluation that chips away at your confidence, and the moment you realize you cannot stay in the little box they built for you. We also get specific about gaslighting as psychological abuse, including the maddening experience of stating a clear fact and being told you’re wrong anyway, until you start asking yourself, “Is it me?” 

Then we talk about what happens when you finally decide you’re done. Jamie explains discarding, why post-separation abuse can intensify during divorce, and how smear campaigns work to repaint the narcissist as the victim. If you’re trying to co-exist, self-preserve, or plan your exit, you’ll hear practical strategies that lower the temperature: regulating your own emotions, building a pause before reacting, using curiosity as a tool, and choosing words that protect your peace. We also unpack how coaching and therapy can work together as you rebuild boundaries and unlearn people pleasing. 

If this conversation helps you put words to something you’ve lived, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with someone who needs clarity, and leave a review to help more people find the show.

To connect with Jamie Davis at Spin Cycle Coaching:

https://www.stopthespincycle.com/coaching

Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.

Sarah Thress
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