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The Conflict Reflex: Why your default response to tension is working against you—and what to do instead.
Description
Why do we still avoid difficult conversations, even when we know the cost? In this episode, Stacey Philpot and Cade Cowan explore the hidden reflexes driving conflict avoidance and escalation at work. Drawing on neuroscience and behavioral research, they explain how our brains interpret social conflict as physical pain, triggering automatic responses like silence or aggression. The discussion goes beyond awareness to offer practical ways to get “upstream” of these reactions by identifying what you’re protecting, whether it’s your relationships, self-image, or sense of control.
Takeaways
- Avoidance is often a reflex, not a choice
- Conflict activates a biological threat response
- Your default conflict style gets reinforced over time
- Your reflexes are protecting something within you
- How to get ahead of your reaction
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Your Conflict Reflex
01:16 Why Knowing Isn’t Enough to Change Behavior
03:01 The Science Behind Conflict Avoidance and Reaction
06:37 Silence vs. Escalation: Two Common Conflict Patterns
11:12 Identifying Your Triggers and Contextual Responses
16:48 What Your Reflex Is Protecting
22:04 A Practical Method to Interrupt Your Reflex
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