Episode Details

Have you ever lived a story that doesn’t have an ending?

Hi, I’m Jean Tillery, and in this episode of Epic Stories, I invite you to sit with me in the discomfort, hope, and beauty of an unfinished story—my story. This week, as Mother’s Day just passed, I share what it means to carry an experience that offers no perfect closure, a story that has shaped me in ways I’m still discovering.

Last year, I told the story of being adopted and becoming a birth mom. But I’m not the same person I was then, and my story keeps shifting. Today, I open up about what has changed since I first shared that part of my heart—and about how I’m still learning to live in the tension of love, longing, and letting go.

What’s Inside This Episode

I begin by reflecting on my journey, starting from my adoption as a baby and the loving home I was raised in. Decades later, I found myself looking at things from the other side, navigating the emotional and complex terrain of being a birth mom who chose adoption for my own son.

I talk about the ache that comes from unanswered questions and what it was like the day my son found me after 37 years of silence. For four incredible days, I got to reconnect—even just through texts—and fill in the blanks in each other’s lives. And then, just as suddenly, he was gone again. I haven’t heard from him since August 11, 2021, and that silence is a wound I’m learning to live with.

A few weeks ago, an unexpected moment at the movies cracked open these old feelings in a raw new way. I realized I needed to let go of the hope of reunion, not because I stopped caring, but because hope itself was becoming too painful to carry. Letting go was as hard as it was the first time—and even heavier, because now I know him.

Throughout this episode, I’m honest about my grief, my hope, and my process of acceptance. I remind myself and anyone listening that you absolutely cannot control other people’s decisions or the way they process their own story. But I can choose how I carry mine.

Key Takeaways

• Some stories don’t have tidy endings: Life rarely wraps heartbreak up in a bow. Unfinished stories are messy, real, and valid (01:03).
• Adoption carries lifelong impact: Both as an adoptee and a birth mom, I learned love and loss can coexist, and some goodbyes never truly end (01:15–03:48).
• Ambiguous loss is real and recurring: Connection and disconnection can happen in cycles, and losing someone for a second time can hurt even more (02:09–05:22).
• Your feelings are never wrong: There is no perfect response to pain. It’s okay to have peace one day and grief the next—and to cycle through hope and hopelessness (06:09).
• Letting go doesn’t cancel love: I learned (again) that love doesn’t go away just because it’s not returned the way you’d hoped—it’s still real, still valid, still worth honoring (06:32).
• Practical ways to move forward: My Epic Challenge for you is to name the part of your story that’s heavy—not to fix it, but just to acknowledge it, honoring the reality of what you carry (07:03).

Your Epic Challenge & Invitation

This is my invitation to you: If you’re living a story with no end in sight, try what I’ve learned—just honor it. Write it down. Say the name. Say a prayer. Let it exist as it is, without needing it to be different. You are absolutely not alone in this experience.

If something in my story resonates with you, I’d be honored if you shared this episode with someone else who might need to know they’re not alone, either.

Use the hashtag #epiclivingpodcast and comment on my Facebook page. You can dive deeper into my journey in my book, A Dreamer’s Travel Journal, or connect with more resources on my website, epiclivingwithjean.com. There you can find a free guide—7 Ways to Start Livin