In this episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with trauma-informed therapist Scott Stolarick to explore the true complexity of trauma—and how it impacts both victims and those who cause harm.

With over 30 years of clinical experience, Scott brings a rare and powerful perspective, having worked on both sides of trauma in the correctional system and private practice. Together, Tammy and Scott unpack how trauma is not defined by the event itself, but by how it is experienced and processed—and how unresolved trauma can quietly shape behaviors, relationships, and patterns throughout life.

Scott shares a powerful analogy of trauma as a small crack in a windshield that spreads over time if left untreated, illustrating how trauma can expand into multiple areas of life if not addressed.

This conversation also dives into the role of shame, denial, and support systems in healing, and why being seen, heard, and validated is often the first step toward recovery. Most importantly, Scott emphasizes that trauma does not define you—it is only one piece of your story.

🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Trauma is defined by your experience—not the event itself

• Unresolved trauma expands and impacts multiple areas of life

• Healing requires safe spaces, validation, and willingness

• Shame and denial are major barriers to recovery

• Your past influences your present—but does not define your future

• True healing comes from integrating, not avoiding, your experiences

• You are more than what happened to you

⏱ CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Introduction to Scott Stolarick

01:15 How Scott got into trauma work

03:30 Understanding trauma from both sides

11:15 What trauma actually is

15:50 The “windshield crack” analogy

19:00 How trauma spreads if untreated

22:00 Shame, disclosure, and healing

25:00 Trauma, patterns, and perception

31:10 Final message: Your life is a mosaic

🔗 CONNECT WITH SCOTT STOLARICK

Website: http://www.mosaicpathwaycounseling.org

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scott-stolarick-lcpc-cctp-298734252/

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

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