Episode Details

Analysis of Enneagram Type One Characteristics: Denise Darlene identified that Soo Kim's patterns, such as the fear of being judged, point to perfectionism rooted in the anxiety of not doing things "right". Jevon Perra and Denise Darlene confirmed Soo Kim's Enneagram type as a One, describing this type as the "critic" trapped in "right and wrong, black and white, good and bad," which makes Soo Kim's profession as an underwriter "perfect". The process of determining the Enneagram type was "arduous," as Soo Kim displayed the language of both a One and a Three (achievement-oriented), but the underlying "why" was stronger in the One.

The Concept of Freedom and Integration: The primary takeaway word for Soo Kim from the retreat was "freedom," specifically freedom *from* judgments and freedom *for* peace. Denise Darlene noted that integration for a One involves moving toward Seven, which manifests as becoming more playful and 35% less serious. Soo Kim, however, admitted to still being very serious and calculating when riding their bike in a group, worrying about being in the "exact perfect position," which Denise Darlene confirmed indicated that they were "not there yet" in terms of integration.

Retreat Capacity and Upcoming Schedule: Denise Darlene noted that the retreat was successful because Soo Kim received the necessary individual attention, stating that they would not have been able to go as deep if the other two expected attendees had come. They then clarified that the next repeat visitor is not coming until the 15th, giving a break from retreat work, but added that they still have other responsibilities like packing Cat’s house and helping a friend move. Denise Darlene prefers only one or two people per month for retreat work, noting that the mental engagement required is challenging.

**Starting the Chapter on Forgiveness in *A Song of Prayer***: The group decided to begin reading Chapter 2, "Forgiveness," from *A Song of Prayer* and, at Soo Kim's suggestion, started with the introduction, which they had read previously. The discussion began with the idea that forgiveness has been misunderstood and that guilt becomes a form of salvation for the ego because it sustains separation and suffering. Jevon Perra explained that the ego views forgiveness or love as something to avoid because it would disrupt separation.

Forgiveness to Destroy versus True Forgiveness: The reading and discussion defined "forgiveness to destroy" as the ego's version, which seeks out and judges errors while overlooking love. This version is equated with the traditional religious figure who requires penance and makes the recipient feel bad, using the idea of forgiveness for a "selfish gain". Denise Darlene explained that the ego believes unforgiveness keeps one safe by holding others captive, but this safety is an illusion because true safety is the "opposite of everything we are taught".

The Power of Defenselessness and Innocence: Jevon Perra discussed the "unstoppable power of defenselessness," clarifying that true defenselessness exists only when there is nothing to defend. This concept aligns with the idea that there is "nothing to forgive," as the wrongdoing "never happened," which is what true forgiveness entails. Denise Darlene pointed out that the difficulty in applying these concepts stems from being conditioned, and Soo Kim reflected that their natural, conditioned response is vigilance.

Forgiveness as a Self-Correction and Happy Illusion: Soo Kim read the passage stating that forgiveness is always for oneself, as one can only see their own sins in another, making the forgiveness of another an illusion. Denise Darlene applied this to Soo Kim's concerns, explaining that their fear of being judged is actually a reflection of their own judgments, and one cannot see others as innocent until they see their own innocence. Jevon Perra added that forgiveness operates by getting out of the ego's agenda, recognizing