Episode Details

Content note: This episode includes honest discussion of childhood sexual abuse, depression, and suicidal ideation. Please listen with care, and step away if you need to.

There's a kind of quiet exhaustion that comes from carrying a story you've never told. Maybe not even to yourself. In this episode, Alan Katz, a writer and producer behind HBO's iconic Tales from the Crypt and host of The How Not to Make a Movie Podcast, sits down with Avik for a conversation about what radical honesty actually costs, and why it might be the most freeing decision a person ever makes.

Alan walks us through a career that looked golden from the outside, the moment Hollywood broke something inside him, and the secret he kept from himself for forty-five years. It's a conversation about creativity, depression, the difference between writing and storytelling, and what becomes possible when a person finally tells themself the truth.

Alan Katz is a writer, producer, and the creative force behind HBO's Tales from the Crypt and the films Demon Knight and Bordello of Blood. He is the host of The How Not to Make a Movie Podcast, named Best Film Podcast of 2022 by Entertainment Weekly, and runs Costard & Touchstone Productions, a podcast company built around one mission: making the world a better place through storytelling.

• A secret kept from yourself disconnects you from yourself. You can succeed up to a point, but at the moments when you most need to be there for you, you won't be. You can't be.
• Doing creative work for the wrong reasons breaks more than the work. When you build something out of pure cynicism, every day gets stupider, and the cost shows up later, in relationships, in mood, in your sense of self.
• Self-blame is a survival mechanism that becomes a template. What gets you through one moment can quietly run your whole life if you never name it for what it was.
• There's a real difference between being a writer and being a storyteller. A writer has craft. A storyteller has truth. You can't tell anyone else's story honestly until you've told yourself your own.
• Asking for help is allowed to be informed. Alan researched his own care, partnered with his GP, and didn't settle for being a generic experiment. Self-advocacy is part of healing.
• Truth doesn't always announce itself with fireworks. Sometimes it lands quietly, the day your nervous system finally has enough space to hear it.

• Website (Production Company): https://costardandtouchstone.com
• The How Not to Make a Movie Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-how-not-to-make-a-movie-podcast/id1616014436