Episode Details

Modern dating feels like a shitshow, and if you’re struggling to find love, burnt out by dating apps, or wondering why dating feels harder than ever… this episode is for you.

In part 2 of our conversation with relationship expert Amy Chan, we’re diving into how to date smarter, overcome toxic dating patterns, and build healthy relationships that actually last. Amy breaks down why the modern dating landscape feels so dysfunctional (half of US singles went on ZERO dates last year), the difference in modern gender dynamics, biggest mistakes singles are making, and how to stop self-sabotaging your love life.

We also explore the truth about chemistry vs compatibility, why instant sparks aren’t always a green flag, and how to recognize when your “type” may actually be keeping you stuck. 

Amy has been a trusted voice in modern relationships for almost two decades. She’s the author of UNSINGLE: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts (which comes out this April 28th!) and her popular first book, Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, was featured in The New York Times. She’s the founder Renew Breakup Bootcamp, the world's first heartbreak retreat, and she’s on faculty at Esalen and The Omega Institute.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re being too picky and expecting perfection, or struggling to know if someone is “the one,” this conversation is a science-backed no-bullshit guide to navigating dating with confidence and emotional intelligence.

We cover:

• Why dating feels broken right now
• How dating apps and social media have changed relationships
• The biggest self-sabotaging dating patterns people fall into
• Amy’s Dating Funnel framework for getting unstuck
• Have we become “ick”-obsessed assholes?
• How much chemistry matters early on
• What you might not realize about your “type”
• The debate of going slow VS fast in dating
• The real green flags and red flags that predict lasting love
• What actually creates healthy, sustainable relationships

This is part TWO of a two-part series with Amy Chan! If you’re going through a breakup and missed part one, be sure to go back and listen here.

Follow Amy on Instagram and her website. 

You can order her new book, Unsingle, here.

Subscribe to my Substack:

teachmehowtoadult.substack.com

Follow us on the ‘gram:

@teachmehowtoadultmedia

@gillian.berner

Follow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadult

Subscribe on YouTube