Episode Details

🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me."

If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you.

Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist, former therapist of 30 years, custody evaluator, and legal consultant who has spent two years building one of the most practical resources available to family court litigants: DiffuseDivorce.com, a free library of advance orientation programs to prepare you for every stage of the family court process.

His central insight? The fear, overwhelm, and anxiety that fills your world when you step into family court isn't just painful — it is actively working against you. When your "anxiety balloon" is full, you can't think flexibly, communicate clearly, or show a judge and evaluator who you really are.

The research-backed solution is called advance orientation: giving yourself a roadmap before you engage with a process, so you can show up as yourself instead of a terrified version of yourself.

This concept, proven in medicine, dentistry, psychiatry, and now being applied to family law, is the foundation of everything Lisa and Chris teach at Been There Got Out. And in this conversation, Ben explains exactly why it works and where to get it for free.

💡 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:

✅ What "advance orientation" is and why it's backed by 55+ years of research across medicine, dentistry, and psychiatry
✅ Why your anxiety is actually hurting your custody case — and the science behind why
✅ How judges and evaluators are watching for "ecological validity" — are they seeing the real you?
✅ The single biggest misconception parents have about family court (and why it destroys cases)
✅ Why diagnosis (narcissism, bipolar, etc.) matters far less than dynamic in custody cases
✅ What Ben published that made his colleagues so angry they tried to submit a mass rebuttal
✅ Why family law doesn't belong in our court system — and what Ben thinks should replace it
✅ The 3 C's of successful co-parenting: Communication, Consistency, and Cooperation
✅ Why it's more important to fight for your kids than to fight with them
✅ Where to find free advance orientation programs for every stage of your case

📘 DiffuseDivorce.com — Free advance orientation programs for family court litigants
📘 FamilyLawConsulting.org — Ben's publications, consulting services, and book
📖 Holding Tight, Letting Go — Ben's book on child development and autonomy
📖 Twisted Allies — Ben's novel about family law work

#FamilyCourtHelp #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #AdvanceOrientation #CustodyEvaluation #ParentalAlienation #CoParenting #DivorceSupport #NarcissisticAbuse #BeenThereGotOut