Episode Details

Clare and Aaron join Sam to share something rarely talked about with this much honesty; the experience of navigating a mixed orientation marriage after coming out later in life, and the particular weight that carries when it unfolds in the shadow of a high-control religious environment. Their conversation explores the emotional complexity both partners face when deeply held theological beliefs collide with the reality of identity, and makes a compelling case for holding space for both experiences without casting blame on either side. It's a thoughtful, generous dialogue that situates personal struggle within a broader systemic context, reminding listeners that these stories don't happen in a vacuum and that understanding, rather than judgement, is where healing begins.

Who Are Clare & Aaron?

Clare Heath-McIvor, formerly known as Kit Kennedy in the blogging and podcasting world, is a dedicated communications professional with specialisations in research writing, manuscript development, and non-fiction publishing. She’s passionate about helping people understand their experiences within evangelicalism and high-demand groups, empowering them to navigate life beyond those frameworks.

Aaron Kelly is a gay man from Naarm who grew up in conservative evangelical Christianity, realised he was gay at 12, and spent decades suppressing his sexuality through harmful conversion practices before becoming a Pentecostal Pastor and co-founding Fresh Church in 2015. When LGBTQIA+ members joined the community, he spent two years studying biblical interpretations of sexuality and ultimately rejected the belief that homosexuality was sinful, coming out in 2020 and losing his pastoral credentials and marriage as a result. He has since focused on healing and advocacy, appeared on Channel 10's The Project in 2024 in support of NSW's conversion practices ban, and is currently writing a book about his journey from pastor to proud gay man. He is now co-host of the podcast Queerfully Made.

Connect

• Check out Clare's writing on her website - https://www.clareheathmcivor.com
• You can also connect over on Facebook or Instagram (and @Unchurchablepod)
• Check Out Unchurchable & Survivors Discuss

• Connect with Aaron over on Facebook or Instagram

• You can find out more about Sam on her website - www.anchoredcounsellingservices.com.au
• To connect with Sam on Instagram - @anchoredcounsellingservices
• Want to contact with Sam about the podcast or therapy? Use this contact form.
• Also check out The Religious Trauma Collective