Episode Details

I Feel Alone – Struggles in the Spiritual Life with Fr. Timothy Gallagher O.M.V.

Fr. Timothy Gallagher illustrates the struggles in the process of discernment with Kathy’s story, a woman who, after experiencing spiritual closeness with God, is confronted by a deeply buried pain triggered during prayer. Kathy feels abandoned by God, prompting her to stop praying and isolate herself emotionally. Guided by her spiritual director, Fr. Reed, Kathy learns that she can openly share her pain and anger with God, drawing on examples from the Psalms and the Book of Job, where people express their raw emotions before God.

Through this honest dialogue, Kathy finds a path back to a real and growing relationship with God, learning that spiritual desolation can sometimes serve as a gateway to greater intimacy with Him. Fr. Gallagher emphasizes that while desolation may make us feel distant from God, the experience can deepen our relationship with Him if we remain faithful, seek guidance, and avoid making drastic changes to our spiritual practices.

You can pick up a copy of the book here.

Discerning Hearts Reflection Questions

1. How have you experienced feelings of isolation or distance from God, and how did you respond?
2. Who are the trusted individuals in your life whom you could approach for spiritual guidance during times of struggle?
3. In what ways could you bring your true feelings of pain or anger to God in prayer, as Kathy learned to do?
4. How can you recognize moments of consolation in your spiritual life, and how might they prepare you for future struggles?
5. What small steps or practices could help you stand firm in faith during times of spiritual desolation?
6. How might you grow in awareness of God’s closeness, even when feelings of distance prevail?
7. Which of the Ignatian tools for resisting spiritual desolation resonates most with you, and how can you integrate it into your daily spiritual life?
8. Reflect on a past pain or loss; how does the image of Jesus weeping with Lazarus’s sisters offer comfort in your own grief?
9. Are there areas in your spiritual journey where you feel “stuck,” and how could sharing with someone help you move forward?
10. How can you view spiritual desolation as an invitation to deeper intimacy with God rather than as a setback?

An excerpt from the chapter, “I Feel Alone “:

“In a final form of spiritual desolation, Ignatius tells us, a person feels “as if separated from his Creator and Lord.” Cathy experiences this strongly in the weeks described: “All that closeness and warmth of God’s love? It’s gone like smoke. . . . I’m sitting in the kitchen as I write, and I feel like I’m here, and God is a million miles away.” I’m here, and God is a million miles away. I’m here, sitting in my kitchen, alone in my apartment, commuting to work, driving to pick up the children, sitting at my computer . . . and you are a million miles away, distant, remote.

Have you ever felt that? Yes, certainly, you have, and I have. Once more: no shame, no surprise; be aware, identify, reject.”

Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy ; Gallagher O.M.V, Fr. Timothy. Struggles in the Spiritual Life: Their Nature and Their Remedies (p. 89). Sophia Institute Press. Kindle Edition.

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