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When a child struggles with food, parents are often told one of two things:

“They’ll grow out of it” or “you need to push harder.”

But what if neither of those is actually helpful?

In this episode of The Livin’Sky Podcast, I sit down with eating disorder expert, educator, and speaker Jessica Setnick to talk about what’s really happening beneath picky eating, food anxiety, and eating challenges in children.

We talk about how to recognize red flags without panicking, why ARFID is often misunderstood, how stress and family dynamics shape a child’s relationship with food, and why parents’ own food histories matter more than they may realize.

This conversation is compassionate, practical, and incredibly freeing for parents who want to raise healthy, resilient eaters without pressure, shame, or control.

In This Episode, We Talk About

• Why Jessica prefers the term “problem eating behaviors” over eating disorders in children
• The difference between normal selective eating and something more concerning
• Early red flags parents should watch for
• Why a sudden change in eating is often more important than a label
• Stress, trauma, and how they can affect a child’s eating
• Why children should not be put on restrictive diets for weight loss
• What ARFID actually is and why it is often misunderstood
• Who should be part of a feeding support team
• The role anxiety plays in food struggles
• Small, practical ways parents can reduce food stress at home
• Why food exposure does not always mean taking a bite
• How shame around food develops
• How adults’ own childhood food experiences shape family feeding patterns
• Why kids need safety, autonomy, and trust around food
• What it really means to raise resilient eaters

Key Takeaways

• Picky eating is often more normal than parents think
• A child can be healthy without eating a huge variety of foods
• Red flags are often about change, growth, stress, and function
• ARFID is a descriptive diagnosis, not a root cause
• Food anxiety can be supported without pressure or force
• Family food patterns often go back generations
• Kids need safety and autonomy, not shame, around food

Resources Mentioned

• Jessica Setnick: https://jessicasetnick.com
• Healing Your Inner Eater: https://healingyourinnereater.com
• Discount code from Jessica: podcast

Connect with Lena

• Website: https://lenalivinsky.com/
• Podcast: The Livin’Sky Podcast
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lena.livinsky/
• Workshop: Beyond Picky Eating 

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making significant dietary changes.