Episode Details

“I asked everyone if they were lonely. All the guys my age said 'no, I'm too busy; too much going on.' When I answer that quickly I'm either lying or it's something I'm afraid of.” – Andrew McCarthy

In this episode of Deviate, Rolf and Andrew talk about why Andrew took a USA road trip to reconnect with his friends (2:15); what kinds of friends Andrew sought out, why none of them were public figures, and how loneliness is bad for men's health (8:00); the kinds of men Andrew spoke with in passing on the trip, why Andrew sought out Elvis Presley sites on the road, and how women's friendships differ from men's (17:30); Andrew's takeaways from his road trip, why "showing up" for people is important, and how travel can be the "university of life" (28:00); audience questions about friendships between younger men, the rumored possibility of a St. Elmo's Fire sequel, the task of recording an audiobook, creepy things that happened on the road, and how travel inevitably makes us more open and curious (35:30).

Andrew McCarthy (@AndrewTMcCarthy) is an actor, television director and writer of such books as The Longest Way Home, Brat and Walking with Sam. His newest book is Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America.

Notable Links:

• Tips for telling travel stories, with Andrew McCarthy (Deviate episode)
• Paris Writing Workshops (summer learning-vacation classes)
• Travels with Charley in Search of America, by John Steinbeck (book)
• Brat Pack (group of young 1980s actors)
• Elvis Presley Birthplace (museum site in Tupelo, Mississippi)
• Camps Promising to Turn You into an Alpha Male (article)
• Comstock, Texas (incorporated community)
• Joshua Speed (close friend of Abraham Lincoln)
• St. Elmo's Fire (1985 movie)
• Geoff Dyer (English author and travel writer)
• Strawberry Hill (neighborhood in Kansas City, Kansas)

The Deviate theme music comes from the title track of Cedar Van Tassel’s 2017 album Lumber.

Note: We don’t host a “comments” section, but we’re happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at deviate@rolfpotts.com.