Episode Details

Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception.

Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”.

TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language.

Episode Notes:

 
Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt
Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios
Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... 

Timestamps:

 
00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem 
02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro 
04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support 
05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care 
11:57 Growing Up in a Cult 
17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout 
23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult 
28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta 
32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser 
45:32 Deception Is Not Consent 
46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice 
49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing 
53:40 Twitch As Healing 
55:22 Reclaiming Streaming 
58:41 Leaving The Ex 
01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry 
01:03:32 Naming The Assault 
01:06:17 Speaking Out Online 
01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries 
01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself 
01:25:31 Race And Therapy 
01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable 
01:39:42 Inner Child Strength 
01:42:53 Advice And Farewell 
01:45:59 Credits And Support

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