Episode Details

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In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with Jacob Engelsman about redefining family, identity, and lactation support for queer and trans parents. Listeners will gain insights into Jacob’s transformative career change, the importance of specialized resources for marginalized families, and the power of creating community in unconventional spaces. Jacob is Based in Atlanta, GA.

Jacob Engelsman is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, infant care specialist, speaker, and writer. He is the author of Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, as well as several articles and presentations on lactation support and supporting gender and sexual diversity in healthcare.

Main Topics Covered:

1. Making bold career transitions: Jacob’s move from food service to the world of birth work, doula training, and lactation consulting.
2. What it means to be a postpartum doula versus a lactation consultant, and how real-world experience reshapes career paths.
3. The lack of resources for queer, trans, and non-traditional families in lactation, and how Jacob is filling that gap with his book “Lactation for the Rest of Us.”
4. Inducing lactation for non-gestational parents: myths, biology, and practical advice for queer and adoptive families.
5. Navigating gender, belonging, and being “the only guy in the room” in feminine-dominated birth spaces.
6. The importance of representation and referral in inclusive healthcare—ensuring all parents find the right support.
7. Why giving space and resources for marginalized stories matters, and how listeners can be better allies by simply “being nice” and connecting people to what they need.
8. The rise and role of telehealth in postpartum care, especially for underrepresented families.

Quote from the Episode:

“I think one of the things that's important to stress in conversations like these is that I'm not telling anybody to change their language about anything or to change the way they do anything. I'm asking people to be nice. If you don't feel comfortable working with trans communities, that's fine. Just know somebody that you can refer them to. That's literally the bare minimum.” — Jacob Engelsman

ABOUT THE SHOW: The Art of Imperfect Adulting elevates the voices of experience by sharing real stories from real people figuring out adult life. Every episode features honest conversations about life's choices, changes, and challenges—interviews with individuals (not celebrities) who share their personal experiences and insights. Through these authentic stories, listeners find validation, motivation, and inspiration for navigating their own path through modern life. Because there's a big difference between expert advice and shared experience, and hearing another person's lived experience helps us feel less alone in our own situations.

CONNECT WITH THE GUEST: https://jacobengelsmanibclc.com/

GET JACOB'S BOOK: Lactation for t